“Part of me wishes we had good psychiatrists or psychologists to come up with some solutions, because I know I haven’t a clue.”
A caveat here (based on my own experience only, of course).
This is tricky too.
IMO, especially if one plans to work with a therapist of color, one has to vet one’s therapist just about as carefully as one vets one’s mate prospects, when it comes to topics like this.
You don’t know what lies they may have been exposed to — or what their expectations are WRT they think BW deserve — and whether those thoughts are conscious or unconscious (and that last set is a whole different thing when it comes to ferreting out, lol) — unless you ask some very, very careful questions.
GoldenAh: You’ve made a very very good point! Dang, ’cause there are too many people out there thinking BW deserve not a damn thing. :D
I’ve read a few articles / blogs from shrinks / psychos / Drs who are black women. Their perspective is NOT “How does this help a black woman?” it’s about continuing to circle the drain with “black community” and “How will this affect ‘da brothas’?” crap. To be frank, black women need to be selfish in a healthy, woman-focused, self-affirming, emotionally and financially rewarding kind of way. Saying, “No”, is the first step.
Yeah, some of these “black at all costs” shrinks / psychos / Drs might not be helpful after all. It does make sense to check everybody’s thinking towards us. That’s a necessity.