What we can do is start working on being more feminine. We can smile more. We can put ourselves in safe places. We can admit vulnerability. We can have standards and STILL say that we want a partner - the two ideologies DO belong together. LOL. We can get up on our two feet and start treating ourselves well. This may mean doing a few things differently like crying when you need to instead of mean mugging, taking time to make sure you look nice & not merely good enough, leaving family and friends alone who try to pull you into constant misery, remembering that you are beautiful and acting as such, watching your mouth - not being crass, not dealing with the abc crew etc.,etc. It may mean letting men of any race who is interested in you - let them approach you, appreciate you, try to court you - making sure of course that they treat you well and meet your standards. To the ladies who say nothing but a bm will do - ok, but if you let them (bm) know that the door is OPEN even if it is just a little bit and there is possible competition perhaps whoever the bm you are interested in will make a move and be a man about it. Remember ladies to vet, vet, & vet some more despite race or culture!! Heck, this is about your LIFE. It may mean treating yourself like the high commodity woman that you are. Lord knows that as a group we are not accustomed to doing that.